My life prior to my salvation

I grew up in a religious catholic home attending church and reciting a prayer with the rest of the family before dinner. I thought that I was “good with God” because of those things and that I would go to heaven when I died. I was introduced to the gospel at the age of 13 at a bible retreat that a friend brought me to. It was that weekend I heard for the first time about salvation. God really tugged on my heart that day and I was “saved”. Unfortunately, the word fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered, because they had no root. (Matt 13:5-6)

As I grew into my teen years I started to become restless and depressed. I searched for acceptance through the “wrong crowd” of friends and physical relationships with men that left me lonely and even more depressed. I ended up becoming pregnant at the age of 14 and to this day am amazed that such a lost and lonely girl could make the descision of adoption on her own. I now know that even though I had not totally given my life to Christ, he helped guide me through that painful process because of his mercy and love. After the birth and adoption of my baby boy was final, I quickly went back to my old habits. I continued to drink, party, and sleep around through my late teens and early twenties.

Although God did bless me with a wonderful man that I am proud to say is my husband, I continued to live life my way. My drinking was innocent enough or so I thought. What started out as abusing alcohol on the weekends turned into a daily affair of two drinks a day. After five years of “controlling” my drinking I started to realize that I no longer had a choice of weather to drink or not. When I tried to drink only on the weekends, I would spend my evenings lying on the couch with the shakes and cravings so bad that I couldn’t do much else.

My depression was also getting the best of me and I realized that I needed help. I started counseling and after some prodding, she recommended that I get some treatment for my alcoholism. It was at this point that I had reached an all time low in my life, and that I needed to make some drastic changes.

The circumstances leading up to my salvation

Once I came to the realization that I was an alcoholic I also discovered that the only way to treat it was through spiritual growth. The third step of Alcoholics Anonymous is: “We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” The only God I knew of was the one I grew up with. I also remembered my experience of hearing God’s word when I was thirteen.

With a few well timed God-incidences, I decided to check out Lakeside Fellowship to see what it was all about. After a couple of Sunday services and a baptismal service that lead me to tears, I started to feel that familiar tug of God on my heart once again. I knew that all I need to do was to ask Christ to be my Savior, but fear and uncertainty were keeping me away.

My salvation experience

On Sunday, September 10 2006, Pastor Dave was preaching on the bread of life according to John 6:35 “I am the bread of life, he who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me with never be thirsty.” It was at this service I realized that being a good person by changing my lifestyle and going to church was not going to ensure me a place in heaven. I also knew that in order to stay sober and change my ways I needed a savior.

After the service I approached Dave and told him, “I am ready”. He asked his wife Deb to accompany us in the corner of the room where I could repent of my sins, surrender my life to Christ, and ask Him to be my savior. Finally, after so many years the gospel fell on good soil where it produced a crop- a hundred, sixty, or thirty times what was sown. (Matt 13:8)

Evidence of new life since my salvation

The first week after my salvation experience I was a little anxious and unsure. I couldn’t help but think, “I don’t feel saved”, or “what did I get myself into.” It was one week later I was lying in bed at night thinking of all the awful things I had done against God. I came to the realization, that even the most awful and shameful things had been forgiven and my slate had been wiped clean. A sense of gratitude and peace washed over me and I began to grow in my faith from that moment on. One of the first things I did was buy a bible. As I started to read it and attend bible studies through Lakeside Fellowship, I began to realize that God’s word is very personal and powerful.

Slowly I have begun to not find interest in the things that used to bring me pleasure, such as gossip, crude movies and music, and partying. There is still evidence of my old life that tends to creep back in, but the holy spirit that dwells in me helps guide me and make me transparent to my sins.

I do still have urges to drink, but Christ is much more powerful than Satan and I am slowly learning to embrace my struggles. According to the apostle Paul, “I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”” (2 Corithians 12: 8-9)