Do you like to gamble? Myself, I’m not fond of gambling. I never liked the odds of winning. Funny thing I discovered about a year ago. I was in fact a gambler. What was my game of choice? Russian Roulette. And the stakes? MY SOUL. I gambled for years that my way was good enough for God. Here’s my story of how I quit gambling.

I grew up on a farm southwest of Ames, Iowa. I had a great childhood, hard-working parents who loved me and my two older brothers. Church was not a big part of my upbringing. However, there was a stretch of time during my teen years that I went to a Methodist Church with my Grandma, got baptized & confirmed…..Surely this was a good thing in the eyes of God….wasn’t it? Baptism & confirmation would get me into Heaven….wouldn’t they? (The Second Edition of the American Heritage Dictionary defines gambling as an act or undertaking of uncertain outcome or risk).

I moved on in life, not understanding what my purpose was or if I even had one. I went to college, drank too much and experimented with drugs. I felt extreme guilt about my drug use. I knew my parents would be so disappointed if they ever found out. I also knew God wouldn’t approve of such things. I convinced myself all the partying was no big deal, after all, I was a good person. My parents would never find out and God was more concerned about the bad people in the world doing really bad things…..wasn’t He? (Gambling again).

During those partying days, I met & married a rowdy Catholic boy and we had two beautiful girls. I thought joining the Catholic Church and raising the girls in that faith seemed like the right thing to do. During Mass, people were very reverent and there were lots of rituals, prayers, and kneeling going on. That certainly had to be pleasing to God & would win favor with him….wouldn’t it? (Gambling) Eventually, the rituals of the Church lost their appeal and so did my marriage. I got a divorce and quit the Catholic Church.

As the years past, I became frustrated and angry. I had this nagging emptiness inside I could never permanently fill. I met and married my husband Lance, who helped fill much of the void, but I was still missing something. I knew I didn’t have a very good relationship with God. I felt dead spiritually. My husband & I joined a local Methodist Church and attended faithfully for a while. But Church eventually started feeling like an obligation and a burden so I quit going. I felt hopeless. Life was just a pointless exercise in futility. I was working my rear off and for what? To get old, have my body wear out and die. What was the point of any of this? I remember thinking life was just one big cruel joke God got to play on people. He keeps you wondering your entire life whether you’ve done enough, whether you were good enough. And in the end? There’s no sure bet your going up instead of down.

I remember clearly the day I stopped gambling with my eternity. That day I learned there was a sure way of going to Heaven. It was a Sunday morning in August, 2006. As usual, I was feeling guilty about not going to Church. My daughter asked me if I would take her to a lakeside Church service. One of her friends was getting baptized and she wanted to go. I couldn’t think of an excuse not to. Besides, I had been praying that my kids would somehow find God, maybe taking her to this service would help.

I had never been to a “believer’s baptism”. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. All the people being baptized got up and shared the story of how they came to trust Christ as their Savior - how they got “saved” and were “born again”. Wait a minute. I thought those “born agains” were religious fanatics that beat you over the head with their Bible. These people were normal and sincere. Not pushy, not fanatical, not Holier than thou. I listened to each person talk unashamedly about their life before knowing Christ and the awesome changes that occurred after accepting Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior. They were sure about going to Heaven some day and not because they were good enough or had done enough good things.

I was completely overcome with emotion. I knew it was not just a cosmic coincidence to be at this Church service. God wanted me there so that I could hear the truth - He sent His Son to do for me what I am incapable of doing for myself. He sent His Son to die on a cross for my sins and make me worthy of Heaven. The only thing I had to do was believe - have faith in His Son as my savior and accept God’s grace and mercy.

So that day, I did believe. I accepted Christ as my Savior. I got saved from a life of wondering if I was good enough, saved from a life of darkness and saved from gambling on my eternity.

Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”. I no longer have to wonder in my own ways and hope they are right. God sent his Son, to be my way, my truth and my life (John 14:6).